I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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