and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
