Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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