It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
