he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
