if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize