I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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