He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
