Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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