Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
