i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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