Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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