i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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