Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
