i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
