i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
