Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
