On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
