I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
