Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
