yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
