So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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