I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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