You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
