if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
