But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
