Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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