wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
