omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i have two assholes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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