I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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