Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
