my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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