Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
