So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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