yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
