He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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