I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
