There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There r osticjed everywhere
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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