If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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