Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
