Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
