I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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