Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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