He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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