TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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