would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
