I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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