No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
