If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
