He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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