I can text with my tongue
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
