just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
