her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
