wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it was like his penis was on wheels.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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