well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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