We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
