3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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