Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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