Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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