The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
