sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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