I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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