after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
