Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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