Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
